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This article is a transcript of the Greatest Freakout Ever episode "Greatest Freak Out Ever 6" from season, which posted on September 18, 2009.


  • Jack: Okay, my parents are gone for the weekend, our grandma is taking care of us, and... her and Stephen have been getting into it all weekend and it's hilarious.
  • Betty: Please hand me the remote.
  • Stephen: No, why do you keep... I mean.
  • Betty: I want to watch the news.
  • Stephen: Leave... Why? Nothing's happened so far.
  • Betty: How do you know if you never watch it.
  • Stephen: Because you always update me like I care!
  • Betty: Well, you little brat.
  • Stephen: Don't call... Stop. How am I a brat?
  • Betty: I'll tell you what, you may disrespect your mom and dad but you're not gonna get by with me.
  • Stephen: Yeah, when my dad left, he said "Stephen".
  • Betty: Oh, he did not.
  • Stephen: He said...
  • Betty: He did not.
  • Stephen: He said "You're the man of the house."
  • Betty: Well then, why did he have me over here, you little shit?
  • Stephen: So, to make sure you don't get all crazy and crap and climb the roof.
  • Betty: Oh, that's... Uh, now, you're lying.
  • Stephen: Okay. How am I lying? I'm not changing it, we're watching this. Stop talking.
  • Betty: Do I have to get my paddle?
  • Stephen: (sarcasm) Oh, my god, anything but the paddle. That hurts so bad. You're so strong.
  • (phone rings)
  • Betty: I've had enough crap this time. I can do it
  • Stephen: Okay, berry bund. Get the paddle.
  • Betty: You son of a bitch.
  • Stephen: What is wrong with you?
  • Betty: I want a little respect!
  • Stephen: You can't hit me in the face with it!
  • Betty: You wanna bet?
  • Stephen: Yeah!
  • Betty: Well, then stand up.
  • Stephen: No. (Betty hits Stephen's eye.) Ow! What is wrong with you?! Are you freakin' out of your mind? Ow, my freakin' eye!
  • Betty: I'll tell you what? I'm leaving.
  • Stephen: I'm calling my mom! And I'm taking this away before you kill somebody.
  • Betty: I'll... I'm calling your mom.
  • Stephen: I'm calling my mom and telling her that you hit me in the face with it!
  • Betty: No. I'm calling her as I leave out the door.
  • Stephen: Oh, I hope you've not got a cut under my eye.
  • Betty: You little son of a bitch.
  • Stephen: Stop cussing in my house! It's not your house, you can't cuss. I'm freakin' bleeding now.
  • Betty: Good. Where's the phone? Where's the phone?
  • Stephen: I don't know!
  • Betty: You got it up your ass too? (rekt)
  • Stephen: That's not freakin' funny.
  • Jack: (laughing)
  • Stephen: Mom said "talk time." Talk about that.