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Greatest9

This article is a transcript of the Greatest Freakout Ever episode "Greatest freak out ever 9" from series, which aired on March 8, 2010.


  • Stephen: Oh, my god. Silva is the luckiest freakin' fighter I've ever seen in my life.
  • Jack: Dude, he is beating the crap out of Forrest Griffin.
  • Stephen: No, he's freakin' not!
  • Jack: Look at him.
  • Stephen: How's he beating the crap out of him?
  • Jack: Look at it.
  • Stephen: Shut up. (brings his fists together like a UFC fighter) Oh, my freakin' god. No. Silva's a freakin' noob, look, look. (weakly points at the TV)
  • Jack: Yeah, he's... just, dominating.
  • Stephen: Oh, my god. Shut up, he's not dominating.
  • Jack: Why do you have to wear those gloves when we're watching... UFC, why can't we just watch it?
  • Stephen: (ASMR voice again) Shut up.
  • Jack: It's just weird. (after 5 seconds of silence) Oh, ho ho! (Little Laugh) Dude.
  • Stephen: Oh, my god. (4 seconds of silence pass)
  • Jack: (Laughs)
  • Stephen: Oh, my freaking god.
  • Jack: Oh, my god. It's over, wow. (Another 4 seconds of silence)
  • Stephen: OH, MY GOD!!! (gets up from the bed)
  • Jack: Dude.
  • Stephen: You know he got freakin' lucky!
  • Jack: How did he get lucky?
  • Stephen: (kicks the baseball bean bag Jack was sitting on) Because... look!
  • Jack: Chill out.
  • Stephen: No, I'll freakin' rewind it. (grabs the remote) Look. (rewinds the footage)
  • Jack: Why, I saw it, I mean...
  • Stephen: No.
  • Jack: Yeah. How didn't I see it?
  • Stephen: Look. (points to the TV) Shut up, a-
  • Jack: (Laughs a little)
  • Stephen: He barely even tapped him!
  • Jack: Dude, he knocked them out.
  • Stephen: (Breaks the remote) He barely even tapped him!
  • Jack: You just broke your remote.
  • Stephen: He barely even freakin' tapped him!!
  • Jack: Alright, whatever. Let me get out of here.
  • Stephen: No! You're freakin' re...
  • Jack: Am I like your prisoner or something...
  • Stephen: Shut up! (punches the door) Sh-sh-shut up. (punches the door again, presumably knocking out a piece of wood on the other side)
  • Jack: Stephen?
  • Stephen: SHUT UP! I don't freakin' care! (Punches the door again, knocking more pieces of wood out) Shut up! (Punches the door 2 times) (Kicks the door 2 times and then punches the first panel out of his wooden door) I don't freakin' care! Get away!
  • Jack: Okay, Stephen, you just broke your door.
  • Stephen: I don't care!
  • Jack: Can I leave now?
  • Stephen: (breaks some pieces of the other panel out of the door) No! (grabs a door fragment and throws it at Jack)
  • Jack: Oh, AAH! Dude, freakin' stop!
  • Stephen: No!
  • Jack: Dude, let me out of here.
  • Stephen: Say he got lucky!
  • Jack: He didn't get lucky.
  • Stephen: Yes, he freakin' did!
  • Jack: No, he didn't.
  • Stephen: (opens the door) Yes, he freakin' did! He got freakin' lucky.
  • Jack: Okay, even if he did get lucky...
  • Stephen: No, no! (closes the door) Not even if, he freakin' did!
  • Jack: You just punched the panels out of your door, what's your problem?
  • Stephen: I don't freakin' care, he got freakin' lucky! (punches the door once more) He got freakin' lucky. (opens the door and leaves the room) He got freakin' lucky. Dad! No, he freakin' lost.
  • Jack: (grabs the camera while laughing)
  • Stephen: I don't care!
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