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This article is a transcript of the Greatest Freakout Ever episode "Greatest freakout ever 29" from season, which posted on February 12, 2014.


  • Jack: Okay, Stephen's going to Tennessee to stay with my uncle Philip at his ranch for a couple of months to work. And...
  • Stephen: You can't make me go anywhere, I don't care!
  • Jack: He's getting into a huge argument with my parents.
  • Stephen: No! There's absolutely no way you can make me go there.
  • Jennifer: What is that, job number what, 7?
  • Stephen: Yeah, every single boss I've had is a douchebag!
  • Jennifer: Okay, so you're gonna go, you're gonna go, work on this ranch for about 2...
  • Stephen: I'm not working on anybody's ranch!
  • Jennifer: Yes you are!
  • Stephen: Oh, for free, I'm gonna work for someone's ranch for free! Yeah.
  • Jennifer: You're gonna stay with him.
  • Stephen: I'm not staying with him, I don't want to live with him!
  • Jennifer: Yes you are!
  • Stephen: No!
  • Jennifer: It doesn't matter, Stephen.
  • Stephen: He is a freakin' weirdo!!
  • Jennifer: No, he's not! And you know that's not true! So don't...
  • Stephen: Yeah. Well, he is a weirdo and you don't even know, yeah, he's weird.
  • Jennifer: No he's not. He's not, Stephen, this is gonna awesome for you, you can go, for 2 months.
  • Stephen: I hate uncle Philip!
  • Jennifer: I don't care!
  • Jack: HA, HA, HA!
  • Stephen: What would you say, I'm...
  • Jennifer: That, that's not true, either. You know it's not true.
  • Stephen: Well, duh, okay, how I come...
  • Jennifer: Go...
  • Stephen: Then how I come every...
  • Jennifer: You have to stay.
  • Stephen: Then how come every time he visits I leave, why, why do you think I leave?
  • Jennifer: You can leave every time everybody, anybody comes, it doesn't matter. There's your stuff, drive away!
  • Stephen: I don't care, I'm not taking that! No.
  • Jennifer: Take... them downstairs!
  • Stephen: That's not happening.
  • Jennifer: Now!
  • Stephen: No. That's not happening.
  • Jennifer: Take, take them downstairs!
  • Stephen: No. No!
  • Jennifer: Go! (Stephen throws his blue luggage bag on the floor) No...
  • Jack: Oh, my god...
  • Jennifer: Stephen. Oh, my god.
  • Jack: Oh!
  • Jennifer: Okay. Alright. (Stephen grabs the shampoo, then drops it, and stomps the shampoo with his foot)
  • Jack: Holy, sh...
  • Jennifer: Oh, god!
  • Jack: (Laughing so hard and Stephen throws the lampshade on the floor)
  • Jennifer: Dave!
  • Stephen: SHUT UP!
  • David: He broke my lampshade, get over here you dumbass!
  • Jennifer: Wait! What have you done?!
  • Jack: Holy go...
  • David: What the hell are you doing?!
  • Stephen: (Punching his younger brother's door) BACK OFF!
  • Jack: STOP!
  • Jennifer: Oh, my god! Look what he did.
  • Jack: (Laughs and goes downstairs, following his father)
  • Jennifer: He, I even, he like, totally destroyed the bedroom!
  • David: (opens the door) You little son of a...
  • Jack: Where did he go... (his dad chases Stephen holding the painting in the snow) Is he out there with the painting?!
  • David: I'm gonna kick your ass, boy!
  • Jack: (his older brother throws the painting in the snow) Oh, my god! (his older brother Stephen falls over in the snow and gets up, Jack laughs at Stephen because he's escaped, his father stops in the snow because he forgot his shoes and runs back to the house) He's still running! Oh, my god!
  • David: My feet are numb. (orgasm-sequel moans)

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